Listless Cigarettes, Crumbled Papers

were futile

getting ready

dessa walks into the bathroom with me

in the form of laptop-speaker

goodness.

shower shakes, tumbling down the

drain with my dirt.

i remember the way you looked at me

just promise me it could stay that way.

what if the world stops every time
you look into my eyes
like busy restaurant chatter
fading away like the skyline.
what if one day I could see you
tucked into me like
a tucked up blanket dream?
what would you say?
would you be able to feel the
frozen heart melting in my chest
beating to the rhythm of yours
and kissing me until the sunset
dissipates to firefly dreaming?
Leaning. I feel the way your
heart flutters, your sea-green eyes
are translucent. I can see into
you because the water is my home
in this homeless world. Maybe
that’s what I see in you. If anyone
ever asks me that, remind me of
what I should say.
Let me stumble into my dreams
wrapped up in your arms,
cause when night falls down,
I wanna be the sun’s rays that
kisses your face
and wakes you.

Horror story nightmares.

when i see you

and it’s not the end of yours

the mind that keeps reminding me to

remember is the same that

will drive me insane

with twitching moments during

car ride catastrophes and i can’t

fucking remember one more second.

it’s like pain i can’t bear

or rather

i do, silently

hissing

like a kettle almost ready

to scream.

let me emit the steam

let the horrors come

i dream in nightmares any-

way

so i am well prepared

for destruction.

trust me in that, at least.

you’ve gotta lotta

lotta hope

like a lotta nerve

pretty much

onomatopoeia and

synonyms

humans grunting

hope

hope

hope

like it is some kind of chant

that will let the god of wrath

take some semblance of mercy

on their broken souls.

oh god of wrath

take mercy on my broken

en en en en soul

like a record case

that scratches the circles round round

fireflies still light a way

a magical firefly path

like falling down a rabbit hole

and finding something called

ho-o-o-ope

did you miss me

when you rode on the light’s back

round round the world rollercoster

or was it a swirl of color

just too beautiful

to remember some mediocre girl

with big blue eyes

and what used to be blonde hair.

what was that

i can’t hear you over the

avalanches of my

feet falling over themselves.

the drip drip dewdrops of

mountaintops,

where did these pills come from?

what is the definition of mountain-

water. were my magic pills

found as pebbles in this

incredible earth-spring?

i didn’t think so, and so

that’s why i still want to

drive too fast

and find the light

at the end of the waterfall.

there’s something of a secret

tucked behind crooked teeth and

giggly smiles.

i swear to you - big baby doll

eyes that are the brightest blue are

naive, and they are liars.

stained lipstick can

highlight,

magnify.

show me your teeth or i’ll rip them out

goosebumps

smeared mascara stains on

pillowcase dreams

and can you remember why you came home?

oh god, it wasn’t for me.

show me. your motherfucking. teeth.

shaking

blankets only exist in

dogfurred memories.

karma - what goes

around comes around

but sometimes

just sometimes, that isn’t

quite good enough,

like when the sunshine fades on a

terrifying day.

when you reach out for your

animals, twist backwards

so that you walk on four legs

speaking their language,

maybe then you can understand that

the pills aren’t working.

the water doesn’t have to be scary

you can find its fingers at the bottom

they’ll hold you like mommy used to

pet your hair until you fall

asleep.

Oh, did I mention fuck you?